Knocking On Heaven's Door
by Auttzthoughtz
Summary: After a certain death in the Marvel Civil War, concerning the registration act, a certain hero dies that changes everything. One hero suffers on earth, one hero suffers in purgatory following it. Will there ever be a way to repair what happened because of this war? StevexTony
1. Prelude

Knocking on Heaven's Door

**Prelude**

For those who don't know the stream of comics surrounding the civil war of Marvel history, it needs to be explained for this fic to make any sense whatsoever.

Steve and Tony got into a fight over the idea of both hero and mutant registration. Steve was on the side that they shouldn't be forced to show themselves, and Tony swore that everyone should come clean to their secret ideas.

It gets to the point where each of them goes through the whole Marvel universe, making each hero and mutant take a side. It turns their world into a full-blown warfare. They end up into the war, and so many die on each side. It is one death in particular that stirs the world around completely.

Will it be permanent? Will there be repercussions? Will there be deep emotions? Who wouldn't want to know the reality behind the grief? Enjoy the awesomeness of this fic interpretation of this part of the Marvel world.

Sincerely, Auttzthoughtz


	2. Death Calls

**Chapter 1**

Tony's POV

I am watching as my side of this world destroys the other. I know I mean to put on a show for my causes, but this is beyond what I could have imagined. Their people-who were once my people-were falling so quickly that I could barely keep up.

I fought along with my men, Thor being the closest by my side. This war is right? It was the only option, I suppose. Neither Steve nor I was willing to bend on our ideas enough to compromise.

I keep fighting swiftly. I watch the other side, trying to tune out the tragedy. By the time I caught wind of the strategically shot bullet, it was too late to stop it.

I screamed to my men to cease fire, and flew quickly over to the other side. They didn't hear me, but Thor did and stopped them for me. I rushed over to the other side.

Steve's POV

I fought this war for these sorrowful heroes. Not all of them were ready to share their identities with the world, especially those poor mutants. I couldn't let them down. Tony wouldn't bend to compromise, and that's what started this war.

I had Natasha on my flank, ready to murder anyone for the ways of justice. She smiles at me, before moving to the other side of the field. I keep fighting, wishing that there was another way.

I was so busy trying to protect my fellow soldiers; I didn't see the bullet coming at me. All I heard was Stark panicking, and caught a glimpse of him flying my way before I was hit. I fell down immediately and right into Stark's arms. He held on to me, and I watched as he pulled back his mask. His face was scared and tear-stained as he watched me.

That was the moment I knew I was going to die.

Tony gathered me tighter into his arms, and closer to him. "I'm so sorry. This is entirely my fault, Cap. I am so sorry."

It was sad as this was the first time I had ever seen him cry. I wanted to tell him it wasn't all his fault, and not to blame himself. Before I could tell him, it was too late.

I was already gone.


	3. Carry Out

**Chapter 2**

Pepper's POV

I get a call from Nick Fury. Out of all people, out of all the times, I just couldn't understand. I pick up the phone, and politely address him. "Hello, Mr. Fury?"

"The battlefield has been cleared to nonviolence. You need to get down there. We need you to help with Stark." Fury stated calmly. "We will send over transport in two minutes. Be ready."

"Tony? Wait, Fury, what happened to him?" I asked in a panic.

Fury took a deep breath. "Ms. Potts, Tony has been compromised by the death of a friend. We need you to convince him to get up and leave, so we can start repairing the damaged area. Are we clear?"

I shook my head, automatically knowing. I grabbed my jacket, and ran downstairs to wait for my ride.

Tony's POV

I can't move. I can't stop crying. I am here, holding Steve in my arms.

He died because of this petty fight. I didn't want to accept that. I couldn't.

Many others come around, trying to convince me to relax. I couldn't move. I could barely breathe.

Steve Rogers shouldn't have been the one to pay the price for this war. I should have. He was a good man, and a true hero. I am just a drunk lonely man that tries to play the part.

"I'm so sorry," I continuously whisper.

Past the sobbing, I heard a small voice. I looked up, and sighed. Pepper is walking slowly to me.

Pepper's POV

"Tony, you have to move. They're going to have to force you soon. Please, just come with me." I pleaded sweetly.

Tony shook his head at me, visibly tightening his grip on Steve. "I can't leave him here. This is my fault, Potts. This happened to him because of me."

I kneeled down beside him, and put my arm around his shoulder. "You can't blame yourself."

Tony looked at me carefully, and leaned his head on my shoulder. I moved to be sitting beside him. I watched as he kept his grip on Steve, and cried into my shoulder.

"Tony, we need to go…" I said carefully.

Tony looked up woefully. "I need to carry him out of here."

I took a deep breath, and looked over to the closest army official. He luckily was willing to approve the request that Tony put out there. I stood up and nodded to him. I watched Tony as he held Steve in his arms, and started up and walking to station him with the rest of the dead warriors.

Once he had to put Steve down, he fell into my arms. I held him for a long time, not even letting go to make it home.


	4. Purgatory

Pepper's POV

Days have passed. It's time for the memorials. Tony knows that he has to be ready, that he has to go today. I know on some level, he wants to be there. He wants to show Steve respects.

I don't know if he'll go yet, but at least I've convinced him to get dressed for the occasion.

Tony's POV

Pepper has been badgering me constantly. I gave in a bit, to appease her telling her that I'd get dressed.

It takes me ten minutes. My hair is combed and my suit is all black except for a simplistic white bowtie. I stare at my reflection and the mirror, and see only the emptiness of the gaze my eyes hold. I grasp the sink, and shut my eyes tight. I'm not sure if I can do this.

Steve's POV

I'm dead, right? I thought so, anyways. But, then, why am I here?

He can't see me. I know he can't. I'm like this peeping Tom that just can't do anything to help it. I wish he could see me, and hear me, and know that I am here. But, he can't. I don't know why.

"Tony!" I feebly yell once more, wincing as he still doesn't move towards me. "Tony, stop, please! I'm right here!"

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I turn with a jolt. A smiling female face looks back at me, and she looks familiar. Her hair is long, and brown except for one grey strand on each side of her face. That's when it hits me…who she is. "Marie?"

She nods gently. I flash back to her a weak smile. "Where are we, Marie? Why can't he hear me?"

I turn back to Tony, and I hear her sigh at my expression. "Steve, we're in purgatory. It's what some would call a spirit plain. We can see them, and hear them…but they don't know we are here."

I turned back to her, confusion and anger washing over me. "Why, do we not deserve heaven?"

She laughs, and it's a sound that I wince at hearing in this moment. "I've been here long enough to understand why, Steve. We don't get sent upwards or downwards, as being from such unique standards as us, until it's assuredly known that nobody down there is going to bring us back."

"How long will we be waiting here?" I ask gently.

Marie shrugs. "Not long, I think. Whoever is working above us just needs to watch down there long enough to see if we will be going back. Then, I'll be able to move on."

I glare at her. "Why do you think you'll be the one here moving on? There are plenty of people down there who would love to save you."

She smiles gently, and runs her hand across my arm several times. "It's just the way I feel. Plus, it's not so bad up here. I'm at peace and what not. For me, it truly is a gift and not a curse."

I blink for a second, and then watch her hand carefully as it grazes me. I look back to her, a mix of shock and understanding hitting me. "You don't have your mutation anymore."

Marie laughs, and pulls me into a hug. "I don't. And, Steve, it feels fantastic to be free. You know how lonely life is when you can't even shake somebody's hand without seriously injuring them? It feels better this way."

I smile, and hold her tighter to me. I know it's not much, but I understand that she hasn't had anyone who has been able to hold her…in what must have felt like a lifetime.

We both felt real. Like two people in an embrace. It wasn't ghostly or creepy, things were fine over here. Well, for now, at least. I watched over her shoulder, and saw Pepper bursting into Tony's bathroom.

Marie giggles, and lets me free. I can barely understand her optimism, but she keeps her grip on my hand as I turn to Tony again.

Tony's eyes snap open as he hears a door slam. "Pepper, just a few more minutes."

I even had to laugh gently as Pepper sighed in impatience. "Tony, we have to go. We're going to be late."

"I'm not even sure if I'm going." Tony says assuredly.

"Going where?" I ask Marie in a gentle whisper. She shushes me, and gestures for me to watch them more.

"You have to go to his funeral, Tony." Pepper says quietly.

I bite my lip, trying not to think too hard into how Tony looks as he delves into the next piece.

"I can't." Tony whispers, and I watch him sink to sit on the floor by his tub.

Pepper slides down to sit beside him, and gives him a stern look. "Why not, Tony?"

"Because that means he is really dead. That means Steve is really gone, Pepper. I don't think I can handle that yet." Tony whispered. Tears rolled down his cheeks, and Pepper let him fall into her arms.

I felt tears stream down my face. All I wanted to do was to be there with him, and yank him into my arms. I want him to know I'm here still. I want to hold him, and tell him things will be alright. "Marie, is there any way to break the barrier?"

Marie solemnly shakes her head. "Not that I know of, Steve. Not that I could find. Trust me, it's not like there aren't people I've been dying to break through to. Just, keep listening."

I look back, and Tony has pulled himself to sit up straight. "I didn't ever even tell him, Pepper."

Pepper smiles weakly. "Sweetheart, I know. I think he knew though, on some level. Don't beat yourself up."

I watch intently. What didn't Tony tell me?

"He never knew. Pepper, some stupid fight blew things out of proportion. Now not only will be never know, but my side of this war was the death of him! Damn it, Pepper." Tony screeched.

"It's not your fault. You didn't shoot him, Tony. You tried to save him, didn't you?" Pepper said quickly, trying desperately to calm Tony down.

"I didn't try hard enough. Pepper, the…" Tony pauses for a moment, seeming to try and hold back sobs. It doesn't work. He falls into tears again, and his head falls to her lap.

I see tears streaming down her face too. She strokes his hair. "I know Tony, I know."

"No, you don't. The person you love never died because of you!" Tony screeched. He sobbed harder into her lap, and they stay like that for a while.

"Did you…" Marie started slowly.

"I…never knew he did…" I whisper quietly.

Marie smiled weakly. "I meant to ask…did you love Tony back."

I watched him carefully. Why didn't he tell me?

Without looking back to Marie, I nodded softly.

"Why didn't you tell him?" Marie asked, effectively making me feel sorry for wondering why he didn't tell me.

"I was scared to." I said slowly, kneeling in front of him. I closed my eyes, and felt tears stream down my face. "It's too late."

"Maybe it's not." Marie said. "Maybe that's why you are stuck here. Maybe you get to go back to him. Sometime soon, even. You just have to wait and see. Maybe you'll be lucky."

I looked up to her, face soaked with tears. "Maybe I won't, and all I get to have is the knowledge of what I could've had."

I winced, and looked away from her. She came and sat beside me. "We have to leave soon, I think. Do you want to wait until he goes, or do you want to go first?"

"Go? Where must we go?" I ask gently.

"Our funerals are today. Come on, we have to be there. I'm sure there's more mourning to be seen." She said half-heartedly.

"Can we wait until he leaves?" I ask gently.

Marie nods, and gently puts her arm around me. "You can cry along with him as much as you'd like. It won't do any good, but it won't do any worse."

I try to plaster on a smile for her, but it barely shows. She smiles brightly when I fall into her arms, and I can feel the tightness of her embrace around me. At least I can make somebody feel happy.


	5. Funeral

Steve's POV

It took a while, but Pepper eventually managed to get Tony to go out to the funerals.

The first processions we found were for the lost mutants. There was a lengthy list behind the deceased, which was the first thing that made Marie finally lose her happy mood. Then, when the speeches went off, I held her while she cried.

The worst of which was when Logan got to the stage, and spoke so highly of her. We had sat to watch as Logan spoke of how strong Marie had been, and how brave it was to withstand living with her mutation. He talked about the tough times, and how he had been with her as she started accepting herself in her mutant form. The last thing he said even brought me to tears. "She may have never felt the true touch of another, but she was never alone."

I held Marie tightly, and was anxiously waiting for all of this to be over. I couldn't imagine if she was this much of a mess after Logan's speech, how badly I would take it if Tony got up there in processions.

Tony's POV

Pepper got me here. That's the simple part. After sulking for what felt like, and probably was, hours. I am here and already crying after the mutant processions. All I keep thinking is my fault in all of this.

It doesn't feel as if it takes long before it's time for Steve's processions. Every one of the Avengers gets up there, and some mutants do too. Not one of them has a bad word about him. I even have to weakly smile as Thor refers to Steve as the 'Man with the Spandex'. There is barely any time that floats by, before I am being gently guided up to the podium.

I feel tears in my eyes as I look out to the crowd. I see a million different emotions pass their faces coming towards me: sadness, angst, blame, anger. I deserve every single emotion. Well, except for Pepper and Thor that attempt to weakly smile to me.

They are the only ones that won't admit what I will.

"Steve Rogers was the best man I have ever known. Same goes for the rest of you, I think. He was loyal, and righteous, and strong, and perfect. And, he's the only person that could ever be that way. Steve was, whether you all could believe it, my best friend. I…" I spoke softly, and knowing where I was going with this, Pepper ran up beside me.

I moved to sit beside the podium, face in my hands. I figured that Pepper must've motioned or something, because when I looked back up, everyone was sitting cross-legged…waiting for what I will say next.

It should help, but it just brings more tears to my eyes. "I loved that man. Steve Rogers. And, I hate myself for being at fault for the war that killed him. I hate myself for being at fault for the war that killed him, and so many other allies and friends. This wasn't something worth dying for! It was a petty fight, which should have been resolved in some boring conference with the people that should be in charge talking us into the right compromise. This shouldn't have happened, and I'm sorry. I hate myself, I hate what has happened, and I am so sorry."

I couldn't help it. I told them everything. They deserved to know. That crowd of people that suffers for a cause I took too far, they deserved everything. They deserved to know that I hated myself, and that I will be in pain as deep as theirs.

I couldn't think farther, as I was too overwhelmed by it all. Thor took to sit on the side the Pepper wasn't, and I leaned on him as I sobbed.

Steve's POV

I kneel in front of him, as he leans on Thor in front of the podium, and beg for him to hear me.

"Tony, please, stop crying! I'm right here, okay? It's not all your fault. Okay? Please, it was both of us! We both made this war, and we both are reasons why this happened! Tony, stop it! Now! Please. Tony, I love you! Please, please, please…just hear me!"

Marie wasn't beside me anymore. I think she went off, following Logan as he left the building. I don't blame her. Even in death, we cling to the ones we love.

I look back to Tony, tears flowing down my face as I watch him sob.

My voice has been reduced to a whisper. "Tony, I love you. Please, just hear that. If nothing else, just know that I love you…and I would never blame you for this. You tried to save me. I love you, and I have since I met you. I'm so sorry I'm not there. I wish you could feel me reaching out to you. But, it seems as if I can't. Just, know that I love you. On some level, I hope you know. I love you, Tony Stark."

I gather myself up, and scream to the skies. "Okay, whoever is out there, chose my fate! Don't make this through all of eternity! Either put me back there, or bring me up there! Don't leave me here to watch him suffer. That's a fate worse than death!"

I closed my eyes, tears streaming down my face. Then, I felt something odd shift. It's like the world was picked up from under me, and things twisted out of control until I was somewhere else.

I was back on the battlefield.


	6. Battlefield Wonders

Tony felt highly disoriented. The battlefield was going strong, but he couldn't peg at first what was wrong. Then, it hit him: he was back on the battlefield.

He looked across the field, and saw Steve. Tony smiled brightly. Steve was alive!

But, Tony hurriedly turned to panicking. He couldn't let Steve die again.

Tony screamed to Thor. "Tell them all to cease fire, this instant!"

Thor looked temporarily baffled, but went with the order anyways.

Tony flew across the field, and managed to knock Steve over. Steve looked up, a huge smile on his face. He smiled up to Tony, and nodded. "You called cease fire, right?"

Tony nodded, biting his lip. "Yes I did."

"Can we just call off this war, and get a conference together later on the matter? I think enough soldiers have died for the cause. And, can we talk?" Steve asked slowly.

Just then, Natasha walked up, a grin on her face. "Boys, are we calling this off?"

Tony yanks his helmet up, and grins at her. "Captain agreed to it, so yes. I wouldn't want anyone else getting hurt."

Natasha sighed. "Alright, boring conference room meeting it is."

She walked off in a huff, and both men had to laugh.

"So, are you carrying me out this time, or is that a luxury I surpassed?" Steve asked with a weak smile. Tony's eyes widen, and Steve just laughs. "Yes, I remember. I…was there the whole time, in a way of speaking."

"Well, we definitely need to talk." Tony says slowly, as he gently lifts himself off of Steve. Tony bites his lip as he watches Steve's eyes brighten, and mercifully be able to stand on his own two feet again.

Tony just smashes himself into Steve's arms again, and Steve laughs gently. He holds Tony tightly, closing his eyes in a gentle relief that he could finally be in the world with Tony again. Steve no longer would have to simply imagine being able to comfort Tony.

Steve pulled away for a mere second, and scanned the battlefield. He looked around, in desperate search of what was just his only friend in…the other world. Without seeing it, he heard Logan's cries as Marie's body was found.

Steve grabbed Tony's hand, and pulled him along to go see Logan. Steve gently kneeled beside Logan, and put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't ask how I know, but she's at peace."

Logan looked up, clear tears in his eyes. "How could you know?"

"Let's just say…she's free now. It's okay. Mourn her, she loved you. I can't tell you why, but she'll be at peace…which is what will make you have to accept that she is gone." Steve said gently.

Steve patted Logan once more on the shoulder, before standing to match Tony.

As they walked away, Tony smiled gently. "Can you tell me how you know about Rogue?"

Marie…was with me, where I was. She was able to feel others, unlike how she could when she possessed her mutation. We helped each other. Despite the tragedy, I am glad she's found peace. She was a very amazing young woman." Steve said slowly.

Tony smirked. "So, are you planning to explain where you were? And, feeling others…how much of you did she feel exactly?"

"Let's just say I wasn't far. It felt like I was here the whole time, but people here couldn't see Marie or I. We watched, and we cried with the people we cared for." Steve smiled in the humor of Tony's last question. "And, we were just friends. Nothing beyond friendly hugs and hand holding."

Tony bit his lip, looking towards the floor. "You said you were there the whole time, who were you watching?"

Steve too bit his lip, and looked over to Tony. "I was watching you, Tony. That's why we need to talk."

Tony's eyes widened, before a devilishly large grin spread across his face. He gathered Steve into his arms, as he had carried Steve before, and started flying.

Not a word was said on flight. They exchanged goofy smiles and knowing stares, until they got to their destination.


	7. Finally

Steve laughed as they were flown into Tony's bedroom. "That's very subtle, Tony."

Tony dropped Steve onto the bed, and smiled back a winning smile. "I'll be right back."

It was a mere minute or so before Tony returned, devoid of the suit and still grinning. He plopped himself onto the bed, to lie next to Steve, and laughed. "I have no idea what this 'subtlety' idea is. It just never has use for me."

Steve laughed, and moved closer to Tony. A more serious tone brushed over his features as he started to speak. "That means I can cut to the chase. I've been watching you this whole time, through every word and tear…"

Tony smiled. "Steve, I should have told you myself. I am sorry you had to find out the way you did…"

Steve caught Tony by surprise with a heated kiss. Steve positioned himself over Tony, and grinned as he pulled away. "Will you please stop apologizing? And, don't cry or hate yourself either. I am right here, and I love you back. I know you couldn't hear me then, but please just listen now."

Tony smiled wider than he ever had. "You really were there that whole time? Wait a tic…you were trying to get through to me?" Steve smiled weakly, and nodded.

Tony kissed Steve fiercely, and flipped them over. When he let loose for breath, he smiled at his super soldier. "I love you, Steve."

"I love you too, Tony. And, thank God you don't believe in subtlety." Steve said with a mischievous grin.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Oh and why is that?"

Steve didn't answer with words, but with his actions. He kissed Tony fiercely, and flipped them over once more. They ripped away at one another's clothes, until they were all gone.

Tony laughed softly as Steve kissed from his lips, to his shoulder, down his chest. He stopped laughing, and gasped as Steve took his member past his lips. Tony writhed and moaned underneath Steve, trying his dearest not to be finished all of this at that moment.

When Tony pulled Steve up, Steve had a wide grin on his face. Tony looked to him with wide eyes. "That's the first time you have done that?"

"Absolutely, it is." Steve said with joy prevalent in his tone.

"Steve, how is that even plausible?" Tony asked playfully.

Steve shrugged. "Well, you did say I was…what was the word, 'perfect'?

Tony flushed a deep red. "Why, yes, I believe that might have been the word. Care to prove my statement even more?"

"Gladly," Steve said with a huge grin on his face.

Steve rolled off Tony and put his fingers between his lips, before he started preparing himself.

"Fuck, Steve," Tony said breathlessly. Clearly fully aroused once more, Tony sprung on top of Steve and replaced his lover's fingers with his own. Steve writhed underneath him, smiling deviously. It was obviously his plan, which had obviously worked.

Once Steve was fully prepared, he smiled up at Tony. "Can you, please?"

Tony looked confused for a moment, before considering his last words and having a gentle laugh. "Yes, Steve, yes I can."

Tony fumbled in the bedside drawer until he found some lube, and slicked himself up for an amount of time that Steve was deeming too slowly. "Now, preferably…"

Tony laughed, and did as he was told. He lined up his member with Steve's entrance, and slid inside none-too-gently. Not that Steve seemed to mind. Steve canted up his hips, in a silent plea for more movement. Tony already could tell how much of an advantage Steve's ability to quick-heal would give them in this way.

Steve smirked as Tony started off slowly, in a way that was clearly meant to tell Steve without words that it wasn't just sex…it was making love. Steve laughed between moans, and leaned up to whisper in Tony's ear. "You don't have to be completely sentimental."

Tony smiled down at Steve. "I want to savor this. Additionally, I want for you to do the same."

Steve flushed gently, unsure if he should say what he was thinking. Would it ruin the moment to say 'dear God, just fuck me harder'?

Tony looked down at Steve, worried at the unsure nature in Steve's eyes. "Is something wrong?"

"No, yes, I…do you always go this gentle?" Steve asked lightly.

"Not in particular, I mean," Tony then smirked, understanding, "are you trying to subtly ask me to not be so gentle?"

Steve nodded, flushing deeper. He moaned loudly as Tony began thrusting into him harder and faster. "Thank God, Steve. I mean, gentle is good. But, oh God, I didn't know how long I could restrain myself from letting loose like this."

Steve laughed in relief. Before, evidently, moaning so loudly he was glad they were the only ones present in Stark towers. Steve didn't understand why it suddenly was feeling so good, but Tony kept himself angled properly with the realization he was slamming into Steve's prostate. It was happening for a while longer before Steve spoke up.

"Tony, I don't think I can last any…" Steve said, before releasing his load onto Tony's chest. Tony laughed gently, before too peaking in pleasure and releasing his load into Steve.

Once they were both done their release, Tony pulled out and lied down beside Steve. He laughed softly as Steve clambered over to rest cuddling to Tony's chest.

"What now?" Tony asked softly.

Steve smiled. "Now, you're mine, I hope. In any way you will have me. You are mine, and I am yours. And, dear God I hope that didn't sound too cheesy."

"Well, it's not as cheesy as I am about to sound…" Tony said slowly.

Steve raised an eyebrow, and kept a wide smile on his face. "Go on. I happen to like cheese."

"I've wanted you for a long time. Hell, I've loved you for a long time Steve. And, now that I know you've loved me all this time too…I have a proposition for you. Please, Steve Rogers, do me the honor of agreeing to marry me." Tony said sweetly, a nervous flush rising onto his face.

Steve kissed Tony once tenderly, and pulled away with a smile. "Of course I will. Yes, Tony, I will marry you."

Tony smirked. "I would demand it to be this instant, but I think we have to wait if we'd like our friends to attend."

Steve shrugged. "We do have some things to fix up first. A meeting about the registration act, a handful of funeral processions…then we can announce our engagement."

Tony smiled more gently. "At least they can know we're together."

"Finally, we can be together Tony." Steve said gently. He kissed Tony gently, before cuddling back onto his chest. "I love you, Tony."

Tony smiled as he watched Steve fall into a gentle sleep on his chest. It was great that he could finally sleep, and that things could finally work out for them, and that Steve was his fiancé. Before he too fell asleep, he whispered few words to Steve. "I will always love you Steve. Always."


End file.
